Sign Of The Apocalypse: 08/29/08 - EEEWWW!! Edition

Today’s Sign Of The Apocalypse is credited to MiamiNewTimes.

Today will mark as the crudest I’ve ever been on TechKills. If you’re easily offended by words such as oral sex, or fellatio then you can go ahead and stop reading. Now that that’s out of the way, let’s get to today’s sign and one I’m almost too grossed out to write about.

A doctor/dentist who goes by the simple name, ‘Dr. Joe’ had quite a unique case on his hands a few years ago. One of his elderly patients was complaining of a problem she was having with her boyfriend. Apparently her dentures were getting in the way of giving her boyfriend oral sex. It seems that her dentures rattled when performing it. Dr. Joe (lol) advised the woman to just take them out. The elderly woman said that her b/f didn’t know that she wore them. Hence the predicament.

Dr. Joe created a mouth guard for her that would keep the dentures in place during oral sex. She came back for a check up later, and praised the mouth guard and its results. Dr. Joe didn’t stop there though, because the thought of the case plagued his mind. It would plague mine too, but I’d be curled up in a corner somewhere with the thoughts of it. Instead of getting in the fetal position, Dr. Joe actually ran with the idea and got his creative mind working.

The product of his thinking would come to be called the, “Blowguard”. It’s a mouth guard just like the one he created for his patient, only it vibrates and is sold as a sex toy. Him and his wife were the first to test it and were ’satisfied’ with the results. Apparently the sex toy is an underground sensation with the senior crowd.

It’s the thought of stories such as these that make me cry at night. The image of it will be forever brazened in my head. Again, this is yet another reason why our world is headed for disaster.

Blowguard.com, in case you were wondering if it’s real.